My most recent conclusions on the topic of sex and aging are these; sex takes more energy than many of us can muster as we get older and the ratio of cravings for comfort – versus sex- changes. The simplified equation is this: Increased fatigue + increased need for comfort = pajamas by 7:00 and asleep by 9:30. My colleagues, friends, and I are all confessing that it’s not uncommon to wake up at 3:00am wondering what happened as last we knew it was 8:30 and we were watching TV or reading. Having less sex as we age isn’t always about a loss of interest in sex, attraction to our partner, or capacity to participate. Many of us in our 50’s and 60’s and still working full-time don’t consider sexual dynamism foundational in our age-specific Maslow’s pyramid. For us, most of the pyramid reflects our need for frequent periods of down-time to recuperate from life’s daily demands. The rest of the pyramid is our “Bucket List.”
Despite my devotion to leading a sexually satisfying life and helping others do the same, I cannot deny that my own feelings about sex have changed. An inkling of sexual rousing that used to lead me to a roiling sea of sexual energy in no time has become more elusive in my “sort-of” late 50’s. This begs the question; “Who have I become and who do I want to be now that I am getting older?” I have been known as “the sex lady” for years, based on my publications and my enthusiastic public speaking on the topic of sexual satisfaction. But a life well lived is one that doesn’t stay the same and if there is anything I can’t tolerate its people who are aging, presumably compounding their wisdom, yet pretending that nothing about them has changed. I don’t feel that sex is unimportant to me now or that my life is void of sexual enjoyment. This is gratefully not the case. Further, my belief in the importance of sensuality for good health and joyful living has actually grown stronger with age. But sex holds a different place in my life now – just as visible but somewhat receded.
These changes in life have led me to make the following decision: the moniker on my website will now read: Evelyn Resh – Commentaries on Women’s Health and Sensual Living. I still have much to contribute on the topic of sensuality and sex. But after 24 years in practice as a midwife, I have much to say on the topic of women’s health too and the time has come for me to do so. Stay tuned………
E. Resh, copyright 2015
May faith abound for you, help guide you, and allow you to hear voices from within.
© E. Resh, 2014.